Richard Stallman's rider for speaking engagements.
Bus and train tickets:
If you buy bus or train tickets for me, do not give my name! Big Brother has no right to know where I travel, or where you travel, or where anyone travels. If they arbitrarily demand a name, give a name that does not belong to any person you know of. If they will check my ID before I board the bus or train, then let's look for another way for me to travel. (In the US I never use long-distance trains because of their ID policy.)
Why anyone at this point would hire him to come speak is kind of odd, but the rider is full of unintentional hilarity.
Equally hilarious is this follow up by Glenn Fleishman.
Edit: The Stallman Dialogues are pretty good, too.